This weekend has been spent caring for a sick child, baking for a church bake sale, watching winter become reality outside with whiteness all around, and a trip to a new store with friends.
One of the friends that I traveled to the little store with, Momma 3B, I became connected with through our Monday night bible studies. (That's her new code name for the blog, I hope she likes it!) Our husband's families grew up together, and attended the same church their entire lives, so they have known each other for some time. Momma 3B and I did the normal "hello" and greets at church events or when we would see one another in town. You know, nothing really super connected ! We did this gig for ten years and then that bible study forced us to become acquainted! Ok that was alittle harsh, it didn't force us, it's more like it opened the flood gates to create this awesomeness of connection between two people!
In reality, our trip to the lovely little store called
CONNECTED, well it was our first outing together as friends. I KNOW! It took how long Momma 3B??? I'm now sitting here wondering why we take so long to move forward in our relationship, at this rate we will be close to 80 and just scheduling lunch dates and coffee breaks! We gotta work on the
connection part gal!
Momma 3B and I seem to be kindred spirits for various reasons. This post isn't really about our connection but another type. She was just part of the inspiration process for this post.
See, Momma 3B, she has three grown boys and I have two grown daughters. (The poor gal has no pink in her life, but that DNA produces awfully cute boys and grand-boys!) By the way, that's how her code name was created! Also her last name begins with a B. It's just funny isn't it???? :) My humor is at an all time high here at 5:30 am! If she doesn't love it, oh well, she's stuck with it, it's her new code name! I think we should all have code names, don't you? :)
This post is going to be WAY too long for "blog post rules" if I keep wondering off topic. Sorry people, I miss just expressing myself randomly. Stick with me here!
It's about parenting and how much my older children have been ever present on my mind in the past days.
We know that raising children isn't easy, and it isn't always fun. I began my parenting career at a young age, so my education in the matter was quite limited. So I like to call TKS my practice run, can any of you relate? I mean let's be serious, I didn't know squat at 17 years old except the basics and how to love the heck out of that beautiful bundle of cuteness! She is still a beautiful bundle of cuteness by the way, here let me show you!
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| She produces cute bundles of joys too - but I won't post one..... yet! |
I could tell you all the things I did wrong as a parent with my children in this post but that isn't the main point and would be a waste of time.
What I want to tell you today is
create a connection with your children. Even if they are 37 or 10 or 5, find a connection if you do not have one.
Sit on the floor with the little one and play, forget the dishes and come play!
Call or text them throughout the week, if even to say " I love you" and "how are you today?"
Write in a journal for them, but don't give it to them until you are gone or they are adults. About events in their life, how much you love them, things you found interesting about them.
Write to them in
handwritten notes, small words will become treasures when days gone by.
Spend time with them, doing something they enjoy.
I don't do all of these all the time but I wanted to share ideas with you.
Find a connection, never let go, at least not all the way. Imagine a rope, like in tug of war, your child at the end, you at the other. As the years go by, the distance gets farther between you. But they will "tug" and need you again, they will allow you to help, but just remember to "release" once again. It's just as important to be there when they tug and to know when to let go.
If you are a new parent or young parent, gather the strength within to love and discipline and allow them to grow while in your home. Allow them to try new things, so you can help them when a lesson needs to be learned. It isn't easy but you feel more helpful and less of a failure of a parent when your children "test the waters" while still at home verses out in this big world of unknowns! Praying often and having a foundation built on God has immensely aided me during both these times.
I feel I realized too late that my job was to raise them and
teach them to function on on their own someday. I wish someone would have explained that to me when I was 17. That's my bit of advice, cause at that young age, I didn't think that far ahead in life and I thought they'd always be with me. They are but just in a different type of way. My kids know in their hearts I did my best, and that if they needed me, I would be there.
Whether that meant paying a ridiculous price for a plane ticket, traveling in snow packed roads, holding a bedpan for them to puke in while they delivered a precious human, or if they needed to know how much water to put in the pan of hot dogs to cook them.
My children have some of my attributes, both the positive and negative ones. I can already see how PV has some of them as well. So now, depending on the one they are expressing, I either smile with pride or cringe with a pang of guilt.
But either way, I feel fortunate that GOD entrusted them to me. Each of my daughters are blessings and I hope they know how much they mean to me.
During this holiday season, whether you are the parent or the child, reach out to the other, even if it's been a very long time, and make a
CONNECTION.
Thanks for sticking with me through this long and random and therapeutic blog post! :)
Julie
