In Between the Sunsets of Life: Adoption Series 2014 - International Adoption

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Adoption Series 2014 - International Adoption - India

I am very excited to introduce to you our first adoption story! Ms. T and Miss G. They are special to us because our daughters are best friends. One of the things they share is the fact that they are both adopted. Because of this they are "sisters", or so they say! Who is to argue with two six year olds! Ms. T chose to adopt internationally. I will let her share the rest.

I started on my adoption journey because as I approached thirty, and was still single, I knew that I had a hole in my heart that only a child could fill. I started by being a full time foster parent. I had fostered several children and while fulfilling, I knew that I wanted a child of my own. When my younger cousin got pregnant at 19 and asked to name her son after my late father, which was the name I had picked for a son, I knew I needed a child of my own.

I knew that I had a small chance of conceiving a child and after speaking to my gynecologist, who wanted me to freeze my eggs for future use, I remember telling him, “I don’t need to conceive a child to be a mother.”

Adoption is something that is not unusual in my family. My uncle and niece are both adopted. Plus, my parents were always taking in kids when they had no other place to go. So for me, I knew blood did not make a family, love did.

I started my actual contact with my adoption agency; I hate to say, on a lie. There was a family in my church that had adopted and I didn’t even know where to start. I ran into Heidi and no one was around, so I asked, “Hey Heidi, I have a friend that wants to adopt, what agency did you use?” (I did later apologize to Heidi, telling her I always felt bad, but I was not ready to share about this tug in my heart with anyone, until I was ready.)

I contacted International Family Services the next day. Everyone wanted to know why I went with international adoption. I knew that in the US there are 100 two parent families waiting on a child, and for international adoption there are 100 babies waiting on just one family. As a Christian and teacher, I know in my heart that the best place for an emotionally healthy child is with two parents. As a single mother I knew I could not offer that to a child. After much prayer, reflection, and seeking Christian advice, I felt like God had lead me to India to find my child. I will never forget what Father Hake told me, “This child will never have a bed without you.” He said a bed is the most basic thing we own. Instead of looking at what I could not give this child, I looked at what I could give them: a Christian home, with a loving mother, an education, and a bed of her own.

Filling out the paperwork was long. I did more paperwork for my dossier than I did for my bachelors and masters degrees put together. It took me 4-5 months to get my paperwork together. It cost me around $30,000. I can tell you that God provides when He is in charge. After months of paperwork, I started receiving pictures of beautiful children. How do you say, “No thank you, not this one?” I really struggled with that, but my agency told me, don’t worry, when your see your child you will know.

Then it happened. I was sitting in my friend Nancy’s house opening my e-mail, and there she was. She was perfect: her little eyes, her little lips. Everything about her was perfect. I was looking into the eyes of my daughter.

I had found my perfect little Gracin Ann Laxmipriya. And a short 11 months later, I had her in my arms. I have always told Gracin from the start, “You grew in your birth mother’ s tummy, but you were conceived by my hopes, my dreams, and my prayers.”

The past five years have been the most blessed time of my life. She brings me more joy in one smile than a lifetime of anything else. I truly enjoy her. She is my daughter and my pride and joy. She is strong willed and kind all in the same breath. I would not change anything about her. Like any child, there are days that are trying, but I could not call myself a mother if at times, I wasn’t a little frustrated. But every day is a blessing and I would not change a thing about the journey I took to be the proud mother that I am.

As with any mother who gives birth, you forget about the pain that comes with the birth of a child. The same thing goes for an adoptive mother that forgets what it was like to not be able to hold her child for 11 months when she cried, to not be there for the “firsts”, to live through the paperwork rejections, and to watch your child grow up without you. But when you become a mother, either by birth or by adoption, you forget all the tears and heartache that got you to this point and all you really remember is the fairy tale from above.

I would like to thank Ms. T and Miss G for sharing their story with us today. It's inspiring and expresses so much love that it is truly beautiful! We would encourage you to comment and ask questions below.

Be sure to share this post to help bring awareness about adoption. Also to follow our series, be sure to check out the following ways!